An Anniversary
Today I hold a stuffed bear instead of my son...One year ago today the doctors told me and my husband that our son was sick and had to be delivered. I was 20 weeks pregnant. How can this still be true? Today the pain is real. Even with questions and pain I know our beautiful son Liam is in Heaven with Jesus looking down on us. My heart hurts that he is not in my arms to snuggle to comfort to kiss. He would be a beautiful 8 month old today. I wonder what his smile would have looked like. I am left a with a few mementos of his tiny, short life, but today I found my favorite. Today my husband and I made a bear in honor of our son. It's a small, sad but beautiful way to honor our lost child but hopefully it will be for our new baby. Hopefully. That's where I'm at. Let me tell you a bit about the emotions and new world surrounding a pregnancy after a loss... Your fear is relentless. You are scared, no terrified, of losing another one. Instead of telling people right aw...